Susan Blake offers couples counseling in San Antonio. For many couples it is a monumental decision to bring their conflicts to an outside party. You may have the same arguments over and over again, re-wounding each other and further damaging the relationship before one or both realizes that you are stuck. Finally, someone makes the call for help.
Each couple is unique. Some relationships are fiery and exciting. Some are slow and easy. All relationships have their ups and downs.
When two people commit to a relationship, it is as if members of two different tribes come together to live happily ever after. In the early days, months and years your differences are interesting; you see how well you complement one another. Mysteriously at some point those differences, which initially enticed you, now irritate you. It is clear to each partner that the way he or she does things is the “right” way and their partner’s way is simply and obviously “wrong.”.
By this time, neither of you feels seen, heard or appreciated. Perhaps one of you is more reasonable than the other; perhaps one of you is more patient. Nonetheless, it has taken both of you to get the marriage to its present condition.
So here is what we do. We sort through it. Look at your individual styles and your histories. We make certain that each of you is truly listening to the other even if you don’t like what the other has to say. We work together with the goal of re-imagining your relationship in a way that will enrich your lives rather than drain them. Life is not perfect; relationships have value and challenges. It is worth the effort to increase the value and ease the difficulties.